I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
