wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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