dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
