My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
