Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize