Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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