She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we made out on top of his cat.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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