sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
bring money and cleavage
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
