I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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