just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
