my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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