Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think your dad took our porno
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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