Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
