i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize