Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
