Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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