Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
