remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
