My nipple is on Facebook.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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