Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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