Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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