Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
