This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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