Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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