A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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