So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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