new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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