Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The best revenge is premature balding
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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