I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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