He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
