How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
