fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
