Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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