my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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