What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
