pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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