small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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