I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
