I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize