For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
