Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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