then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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