did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
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If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just gargled with NyQuil
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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