This girl is more easily done than said...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
