isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I didn't notice because vodka
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
