just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
