i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
