Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
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ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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