Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
