Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize