okay pat passed out under dana's car
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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