I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
