Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
