How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
