Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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