He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
